"Stumbled upon me by accident? That's all right, we can sit down, have a nice chat. I like good conversation. Provided I'm not working a job, then you're getting in my way... That might not go so well for you. 'Stumbling' upon me on purpose means one of two things: You either have work for me or you've come to kill me. If it's the former, I'm all ears; if it is the latter then that does not surprise me, but you shall leave sorely disappointed."
[Independent OC, not linked to any fandom. Triggering & nsfw content will appear.]